The Nate Green Experience

Bad Things < Good Things

Angry Maker's! Angry Maker's!

My Wednesday Morning

7:45- Wake up 30 minutes later than expected

7:46- Dress quickly

7:50- Scrape ice off car

8:05- Meet Rob for breakfast

8:15- Receive call from my publicist who informs me that instead of one national radio interview today, I'll be doing three. And the first two take place in less than two hours. I am completely unprepared and abruptly lose my appetite.

9:00- Drive to my family's martial arts studio to use the landline for the interview.

9:45- Radio station #1 calls. My phone is crackling. They can't hear me. I move around the room in a frantic pace to find a "good spot." Crackling continues intermittently throughout interview. Interviewer seems pissed. I try not to cry.

10:00- I ask my dad what's wrong with the phone. He has no answer. I panic while trying to figure out what to do. Next interview is in 20 minutes.

10:20- Radio station #2 calls. I tell them to call me on my cell phone instead. They seem pissed, but call me any way. Interviewer asks weird questions. I joke and possibly offend half her audience. All in all, it goes well.

10:45- I call my publicist and tell him about the landline situation and ask if I can just use my cell phone. He says no, because apparently cell phones are unreliable and radio stations get pissed when they have to call one. I tell him I already figured that out.

11:00- I drive to RadioShack to buy a new phone and drink a protein shake on the way. I am so fucking hungry.

11:30- Forty dollars later and I'm back at the studio. I plug in the new phone and try it out. All I hear is static. I am pissed. My next interview with the #1 talk show in Phoenix is in 30 minutes. Fuck.

11:35- I check my email to find that my publicist has sent me three emails asking if I got a new phone. I tell him yes. It just doesn't work. He seems pissed, but understanding.

11:50- After struggling with the phone for 10 minutes, my dad and I walk next door to check if any other phones are messed up. They all are. Apparently the phone company was messing with wires the day before. Shit.

11:52- Decide to just use my cell phone and won't tell my publicist or the radio station. They'll never know. The interview is in eight minutes. I jump up and down for no reason.

11:55- Apparently the Verizon towers are down. I have no signal. I can't fucking believe this.

11:56- Grab my dad's phone (Alltel network) and call my publicist to tell him to re-route the phone number to his number. I have no time to explain. My interview is in four minutes.

11:58- I have no signal on my dad's phone. He says that sometimes it stops working in the studio and I should go outside. It is snowing outside. I do not want to go out there.

12:00- I sit in my car in the parking lot with the heat on and my dad's phone in my lap. Radio station #3 calls. Her name is Diane. She's very nice. And funny. The interview is fantastic. I feel good.

12:30- I leave the studio and go to my Grandpa's house. I set up my landline there and plan on using it for the rest of my interviews. I inform him that I will be breaking into his house at 6:30 the next morning (Thursday) for an interview with WCBS New York. He seems fine with that and says he'll brew me coffee.

2:30- I still haven't eaten anything since my protein shake. I eat a bowl of chili and decide to check my email. My computer is not here. It's in my bag. At the studio. 15 minutes away. I still don't have cell service. I read Calvin and Hobbes and get tomato sauce on the page.

3:30- On my way back from the studio, I pick up a bottle of Maker's Mark bourbon.

4:00- I pour a glass and mix in a little water.

4:05- I take the picture at the beginning of this blog

4:07- I call all my friends who have actual 9-5 jobs and brag that I'm drinking whiskey at 4:07 PM on a Wednesday for no particular reason.

4:15-8:30- I do stuff and eat food. I call and complain to Chelle. She tells me to "man up" and yells at me for drinking whiskey in the afternoon.

8:45- I write this blog to make me feel better about my day.

And I feel much better already. (But maybe it's the Maker's.)

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Comments for This Entry

  1. Gravatar

    Andy 9:53pm Dec 10, 2008

    That was just fantastic as fuck. Entertaining as shit that's for sure, you are a good writer. You certainly made my day a bit better reading this, considering I have been doing a math project and economics paper all day and night and am getting a guaranteed 4 hours of sleep, max.

  2. Gravatar

    Christopher 10:11pm Dec 10, 2008

    I laughed out loud at this.

    You're living the dream, Mr. Green.

    -CD

  3. Gravatar

    Caleb 10:18pm Dec 10, 2008

    LOVE it!

    (And Makers Mark)

    Fuggin HATE snow though.

  4. Gravatar

    Nate Green 5:45am Dec 11, 2008

    And just so you guys know, the arrangement at my grandparent's house is a lot more conducive to good interviews.

    And I got free coffee!

    -Nate

  5. Gravatar

    Ryan 6:14am Dec 11, 2008

    wow, my morning was going pretty shitty, but damn if this didn't make me bust out laughing.

    Thanks, Nate, defintiely needed that, haha!

  6. Gravatar

    Patrick 10:26am Dec 11, 2008

    Well, I can relate to the oversleeping and being late part today. Thanks for sharing the make lemonade out of lemons story; I'll have that in my mind if anything bad comes up the rest of the day (though I'm hoping the worst is not being able to open the amazon.com box that arrived yesterday until Christmas Day. Looking forward to the book!

  7. Gravatar

    Dr. David M Hicks DC 2:03pm Dec 11, 2008

    Maker's Mark in the afternoon? I join your 9-5 friends by saying, go fuck yourself.

    At least tomorrow is half day friday at my practice. Maker's by 4 pm will happen. Oh yes, it will happen.

  8. Gravatar

    EG 5:11pm Dec 11, 2008

    That's a sweet hat man...where can I get one?

  9. Gravatar

    Ron 9:05pm Dec 11, 2008

    Cool to see you still finding getting some fun into a hectic day.

    Got your book yesterday. Looking forward to reading it over the weekend!

  10. Gravatar

    J 7:27pm Dec 12, 2008

    Hat is freaky.

    Where is your cigar!??? That would've made the afternoon (and photo) perfect.

    Your grandpa rocks with the 6:00am coffee.

    You should post pod casts of your radio interviews on your blog. (for download)

  11. Gravatar

    Nate Green 10:09pm Dec 12, 2008

    Hey guys,

    Thanks for all the comments!

    The hat is something I picked up in Banff, Alberta a year ago when I was there for a film festival.

    -Nate

  12. Gravatar

    J from Michigan 4:52pm Dec 14, 2008

    regarding the fat tire brew:

    Fat tire looks ok, but I'd go with the

    Blue Paddle (pilsner)

    and

    Mighty Arrow (pale ale) instead. just my 2 cents.

    I'll have to look for this brand in Michigan.

    Any comments on posting pod casts or audio clips on your blog?

  13. Gravatar

    Nate Green 6:41pm Dec 14, 2008

    @J

    Look for some upgrades and changes to the blog and content in the new year. :)

    -Nate

  14. Gravatar

    Jon Stewart 1:22am Dec 15, 2008

    Hey Nate,

    Do you cross over to Canada much? If you're in Alberta again it would be great to catch a workout with you.

    Hope today goes a little more smoothly.

    Jon

  15. Gravatar

    Ryan Andrews 2:21pm Nov 21, 2011

    Classic. I needed a good laugh today.

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