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One Question - (S)expert, Jamie Thompson
I ask. Jamie answers. We all learn.
I recently interviewed sex expert and success coach Jamie Thompson for an upcoming article and really enjoyed her candor and approach. So I thought she’d be a perfect candidate for One Question. So here ya go.
[Notes from my Vegas trip to come later this week.]
Nate: What exactly makes a man attractive to women?
Jamie: A great job, hot body, and a nice car.
All right, I’m kidding. Things like physical attractiveness and financial status definitely play a role, but there are a few other things women unconsciously look for. (These are things that sometimes make us go for the “loser†who waits tables instead of “Mr Success†who drives the corporate Mercedes.
It all boils down to two things: backbone and purpose.
Let’s explore each one real quickly.
Backbone
Grow some balls, gentlemen. If a girl can walk all over you she’ll never be strongly attracted to you. It’s well-known that women use certain “tests†to see how you stack up. She wants to know if you’re worth her time.
I’ve worked with a lot of guys who have what I call “toxic nice guy syndrome.†They’re guys who let women use them in one form or the other because they’re afraid to hurt her feelings or worries she’ll leave. Get the fuck over it. There are a ton of different women out there. It’s up to you to know what you want and keep everything open from the beginning. There’s always a degree of compromising in relationships, but no guy should ever have to compromise his balls or integrity.
And not having any balls doesn’t just mean being pussy-whipped. It means you have to stand up for her, too. Women want a man who will take charge and back her up in tough situations whether social or personal. Bottom line: grow a pair and keep ‘em.
Purpose:
You’ve got to be passionate about something. Something you strive for. Something you would die for. Why do you think women are into firefighters and men at war?
And you don’t have to save world. You can find purpose in painting, surfing, hunting, business, music and much more.
Your purpose inspires and moves you. It lets women know you’ll take them and the relationship seriously. And that’s what it’s all about.
You can check out more about Jamie here.
Comments for This Entry
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Interesting. It's one of those things, just like with nutrition and training, that everyone kinda knows what they should be doing but they just need the balls to do it, whether it be working hard in the gym or telling their partner what they actually think instead of what they want to hear.
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I've learned a lot about "being a man" if you will from a dating guru, www.doubleyourdating.com David DeAngelo is awesome, check him out to read more in depth about what Jamie is talking about.
COMMENT RULES: Critical posts are fine, but if you're rude I'll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your personal name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. But most of all, have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation! (Thanks to Tim Ferriss for the inspiration.)
Matt C 3:23am Sep 24, 2008