Hey guys, Nate here. I'm proud to announce that I'm now the Program Director of Scrawny To Brawny. From now on all of my blogs and articles will be posted on the brand-new Scrawny To Brawny Blog. So if you enjoyed what you read here, please go check it out. (It's awesome, if I say so myself.) I'm keeping the NGE website alive for resource reasons, but will no longer be actively updating it. The best way to get in touch with me is through leaving a comment on the Scrawny To Brawny blog or by posting on the S2B Facebook page. See you guys over at the new blog!
Why Haven't You Reached Your Goals?
"What promises are you breaking?" Photo by Katie Tegtmeyer.
The surest way I know to fail and feel like sh*t is to break a promise to myself.
That's why I recently began changing the word "goal" to "promise" to make it more emotionally charged. My rationale was that if I made a promise to myself—even a very small one—I'd be much more inclined to keep it.
(The same thing happens when you change the word "time" to "life". So, "I don't have the time for that" becomes "I don't have the life for that." Much more powerful.)
For instance, one of my goals is to keep this blog updated with helpful, hopefully entertaining material about fitness and lifestyle from my perspective. Now, that's a good goal. But if I frame it as a "promise"—as in, I promise to update this blog as long as I'm having fun and thousands of people still find what I have to say entertaining and informative—then it becomes something more than simply a goal. Now it feels like I’m going to let someone down if I don't keep it. (Or make a few people very happy.)
The goals we make for ourselves are usually big—finish school, find a good job or fulfilling career, build an amazing body, secure a threesome with curvy Italian twins—but it's the small promises we make that can make or break our momentum.
So something I've been toying with the past few weeks is deconstructing my big goals and outlining the smaller promises that will eventually lead to my success.
Let's check out a typical goal.
Big Goal: Build an amazing body
Small Promises: 1) Read a book about working out and nutrition or hire a respected trainer. 2.) Drink a gallon of water per day. 3.) Eat healthy, smaller meals more often. 4.) Get eight hours of sleep. 5.) Stop drinking so much alcohol.
Even Smaller Promises: 1.) Actually go to the store and buy the freakin' book or contact the trainer, then actually go to the gym and follow the program. 2.) Get a gallon water jug, fill it with water, put it in your fridge, and make sure it's gone by the time you go to bed. 3.) Shop, prepare, and actually cook enough healthy meals and eat them at regular intervals. 4.) Count backward from when you need to get up, make sure it's eight hours, turn off your TV, laptop, and iPhone, and get in bed. 5.) Limit yourself to five drinks per week, spread 'em out how you want, and switch to water or diet soda after you reach your quota.
The way I see it, by making and keeping these small promises to ourselves we'll build momentum and confidence that will make reaching our big goals more fun and less time-consuming. The small promises keep you on track even when you temporarily lose sight of the big goal.
And we don't have to limit it to just our bodies. What about building a successful business? Or finding an attractive, compatible mate? What about just living a fulfilling, engaged, fun-as-hell life?
My advice is to list all your big goals, deconstruct them, then list all the smaller "promises" that will help get you there. Do them every day and you'll soon find yourself much closer to accomplishing your big goal.
I promise.
Comments for This Entry
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Great post Nate,
I've done a similar thing. Goals used to be "life long" endeavors and really lost their luster. But by shortening them to 3 month missions, and then break down each 3 month mission into smaller, weekly even daily things that will get me closer to my goals, I've been able to get closer to that mission on a daily basis, and avoid waking up one day and realizing I've waster a year or two and I'm nowhere closer to my dream, goal, promise than I was when I first started.
I like the word "promise' a lot better than goals and I'll definitely change my language in that area, and how I think about these promises. It's easy to see the mental switch once that word is changed.
Great stuff man, thanks for that!
- Chad -
Awesome post nate!
I love the idea of breaking stuff down into little pieces. It makes everything feel easier to complete because you feel like you did so much more and that keeps you motivated (gym and in life)
I used to try to go every day by taking on a full project and i ended up with 10 or 20 unfinished projects until i split each one up in to little pieces and doing one little piece at a time. Made me WAY more successful and happy. -
Your perspective on life is inspiring. Keep posting these, they're outstanding, and you're helping more people than you know.
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Great post, Nate. I definitely agree. I often get caught thinking big picture, and it ALWAYS ends up being the little stuff that matters. I try to right down my big picture goals (fitness, running, reading, life), and then do what I can for that week.
Feeling a bit lazy - get to the gym/go for the run! You'll love yourself for it after.
I remember reading a great quote, I forget who said it. I'll paraphrase: the best workout plan in the world means nothing. You can have the most creative five day split made for you by the world's best trainer, but the guy who goes to the gym every day of the week and does the same standard stuff will still look better. Why? Because he is at the gym, busting his ass.
Obviously you don't want to do the same stuff all the time, but the point is, do the little stuff, and the big stuff falls into place. -
Nate,
You're right about this impacting every big "promise" in your life. I implement the same philosophy, using a life example.
For me, I really didn't enjoy school, but my way through it was to look at the overall objective: "get the degree". Well, you can't do that in one step, so it's really not worth a look beyond the initial defining of the objective itself. So, I broke everything down to the semester, and finally focused on the semester at hand ... course by course, and then one day at a time. One day, boom, degree in hand and no more worries about school. To this day, I apply the same methodology for many of my goals, and it definitely leads to a happier way of life.
Great post, and I like the impact of using "promise" over goal, so I'll work that in ... promise!
-jason -
Good Stuff Nate!
I encourage people to check out toodledo.com
It's a to do list generator
It Actually helps you manage your Big Goal right down to your little promises
Perfect compliment to this way of thinking
I sync it to my IPod
Kudos to Dave Tate, it was through his article that I myself learned of this program
- GR -
Great Post Nate. Crawl before you walk. Walk before you run, run before you fly.
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Well said Nate.
I look at my goals like one big puzzle scattered out in front of me. Everyday, I pick one piece from the pile and put it where I want it to go. Now, it's tempting to try and grab like 30 pieces at once and try to put it all together, but then ya get burned out, confused, and disheartened. Just take the one piece that you can apply everyday and that's good enough. Now, ya have to promise to put that piece down, otherwise you'll never get to see the picture unfold.
Thanks for the words of wisdom Nate. So, what's one of your more immediate big goals that you're making small promises to accomplish right now? -
This post couldn't be better timed. Exactly what I needed to hear at a time when I have great opportunities ahead of me, but only if I stay on task! Thanks, Nate!
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Great post Nate.
"Promise" is the right word. I set a website few months back, just like you I promise to read up and fill it up with interesting articles every week. Say no to lazy!
Very wise words coming from a young man. Keep it up Nate! -
Smart post Nate.
It's all very well writing life or even 12 month goals, but if you don't break them down into smaller pieces and actually DO, nothing happens.
I have a love/hate relationship with goal setting.. I used to do it in immense detail. I would have say 10 main areas of my life (professional and personal) and for each one have a detailed vision, purpose, 12M, 9M, 6M and 1M goals and had a really detailed daily, weekly and monthly planning process which linked into them.
Sounds the perfect way to do it right? In theory yeah, but I would re-write them EVERY month and I did this for like a year and then I sat back and said I gotta stop this. Stuff changes too much. And by having all these areas and goals, no matter how much you try, you always plan each area as if it;s the only thing you do and you can never fire on all cylinders in all areas of your life. Sometimes things take a back seat and thats actually ok.
So now I do things completely different. I still have my areas (whittled down to 6 now) and for each one I just have 2 or 3 main areas of focus. So for my phyiscal & health main area, I have just mobilty, strength & physique. And then a few words that summarise what I would ultimately like to achieve in each of those areas.
Then I just plan each month super simple. In July I picked just physical, learning & my girlfriend to focus on. My goals are to be under 170lbs, read two books and to spend 2 nice 'date' evenings with the girl. Thats it, no long list - if I achieve those I will be happy and of course, tons of other stuff happens in July, but they are the things I WILL do without a doubt.
The one thing I would say about goals is don't try and get too complicated or too perfect and get out there and DO, DO, DO. -
good stuff nate, sensible as always...
I seemed to have 25 things on at the same time (and not completing any!). By focusing on one, i now 'promise' to complete one thing each week not aim to finish several. Since returning from the US (perform Better seminar in Providence) i have:
1) Created a work schedule that suits Myself as well as my clients.
2) Spent around 4 days to completely finsih off a great book i was reading.
3) Spent every spare minute in one week to create my blog and start filming, uploading videos from our gym
it feels great to complete every small project and even better to fulfil a promise to yourself.
Keep up the great work,
Nathan
www.nathanwilliamstraining.blogspot.com -
Nate, thank you so much for keeping this blog up and updating it so often. Don't think you've ever had a boring post before. I always manage to learn something new and interesting and stay entertained at the same time.
I tried that chilli recipe last week, and it was definitely awesome. I'm from South Africa, so I added some Cape Malay chilli powder to it, which made it extra kick-ass.
Any tips to keep my girl motivated to carry on hitting the gym? -
Couldn't agree more
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@ Matt
I am having the exact same problem with the girl, cant figure it out either -
Thanks for the comments guys!
@ Matt and Jon
I've found the best way to get and keep a girlfriend (or girl friend, for that matter) motivated is to track progress in as many ways as possible. Break out the scale, the tape measure, and the calipers, and help them set some strength goals. Maybe completing a full un-assisted chin-up. Or doing 10 perfect push-ups. Something to strive for.
Also, girls wanna have fun (Thank you, Cyndi Lauper). So the typical program you may like doing (heavy weights, low reps, etc) probably won't excite her much. Try to find a nice blend of strength training, density work, and "non-traditional" cardio.
-Nate -
Good way to break down goals.
I would add to the moment thing and promise to do something everyday towards that goal.
If I skip a day it's much harder to get back on track. -
Nice one Nate, I like the concept of using 'Promises'.
It's funny how a little shift in vocabulary can completely change your perspective on something and how you behave as a result.
@ Matt
Make sure to lead by example as well. If you set a good pace and create the right environment those around you (including your gf) will follow your lead. Good luck man! -
Great post. I am definitely guilty of not breaking down my goals and ending up not following through with many of them.
Are you a fan of any productivity/goal setting based books/blogs Nate? -
This is one of your best posts yet. Thanks for putting it and yourself out there.
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reddit..
..was entertained, inspired!
thx! -
Nate great post. I think it would be very inspirational if there was a section on your site where people could post their progress (after 1 season, 2 seasons etc. of BFS) I think it would be very motivating to see people making and keeping the promises to themselves.
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I love this post... what would you guys do if your goal was to dunk a basketball... i mean... its harder and more challenging than building an amazing body... i know everyone wants that amazing body and all... but how about like something else... like dunking for example... not all people can do it...
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I like Brian's idea. I am a bit of a slacker about taking progress pictures and measurements--I usually just gague my progress by getting to extra belt holes, and increased compliments--but I would be more
inclined to keep up with it if such a section existed.
I enjoyed this post. I have decided I want to become a personal trainer, which as a broad goal has
made me somewhat overwhelmed. I started breaking it down into the little things, like ordering
my study materials, mailing the check for a 3-day workshop, taking care of any little thing I can so
my head will be clear when the time comes, etc. Breaking it down has helped a lot. Thanks. -
Very nice post!
I've been following your blog for some time now. First saw your stuff on TMuscle and now I find myself checking your blog weekly because it's generally, well, AWESOME. It's nice to see another young guy who can convey solid ideas in an edgy, interesting way...
I like the idea of not only making promises to yourself but also framing questions in terms of "having the life" for something. I seem to remember Craig Weller saying something to that effect.
Thanks a lot Nate and keep it up!
I -
Results/progress picture thread where anyone can upload their photos. What'd you say Nate?
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It’s really great to see such a informative post where the information could be shared with my friends thanks for post.
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You can have the most creative five day split made for you by the world's best trainer, but the guy who goes to the gym every day of the week and does the same standard stuff will still look better. Why? Because he is at the gym, busting his ass.
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Most of the time I don’t make comments on blogs, but I want to mention that this post really forced me to do so. Really nice post!
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Great article, it was very helpufl! I just started in this and I'm getting to know it better! Cheers, keep up the good work!
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thanks for this post was very nice hope to return one brief hour. Thank you. reforma de casas
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To get success in life we must run behind the goal, but sometime we are kept back, I think you have inspired your reader well by writing this inspiational post.
COMMENT RULES: Critical posts are fine, but if you're rude I'll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your personal name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. But most of all, have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation! (Thanks to Tim Ferriss for the inspiration.)
Chad 5:03pm Jun 30, 2010