Hey guys, Nate here. I'm proud to announce that I'm now the Program Director of Scrawny To Brawny. From now on all of my blogs and articles will be posted on the brand-new Scrawny To Brawny Blog. So if you enjoyed what you read here, please go check it out. (It's awesome, if I say so myself.) I'm keeping the NGE website alive for resource reasons, but will no longer be actively updating it. The best way to get in touch with me is through leaving a comment on the Scrawny To Brawny blog or by posting on the S2B Facebook page. See you guys over at the new blog!
Give and Take – 3 Steps to Having More
Photo by Mr. Chris
This is a guest article written by Chad Howse. Since it's Thanksgiving here in the US, I thought it was a perfect time to share it with you. Enjoy.
-Nate
Until recently, I thought that in order to be successful you had to take. It's not that I thought giving was wrong—I always felt like it was the right thing to do—I just didn’t think that it would lead to much success.
When I was a young, ignorant kid (well, younger than I am now) I didn’t see that I had the best example of a successful giver right in front of me: my Dad.
My Dad’s job focused on helping people. The trouble was, helping people didn't seem to bring home lots of money.
I looked at my friends who were all given the latest hockey equipment while I was buying my own from garage sales. My family would take one vacation a year—a four-hour drive from our house—while my friends traveled all over the world.
I appreciated my Dad, but I was also selfish. I saw the success of my friend's parents, and nothing else. I wanted what they had.
Then one day, one of my Dad's friends sat me down for a chat.
He had a lot of money, and I admired that about him. I saw success. I saw hard work and a life that I wanted. He had expensive cars, a big house, and a smile on his face every time I saw him.
He told me how my Dad helped him repair a broken marriage and how big of an impact he'd had on his life. He wanted me to understand how fortunate I was to have him as a father.
As he was talking, I realized how many "successful" people were always stopping by my house for quick talks with my Dad. I realized how many times people I barely knew sat down at the dinner table with my family to enjoy a meal.
And my definition of "success" started to change.
Since that talk with my Dad's friend, I’ve come across a bunch of people who've “made it” who are true givers. Without knowing all that much about you, they'd give you the shirt off their back if you needed it.
Being a giver—whether you’re giving your time, money, wisdom, or just a helpful ear— builds quality, life long relationships. It also builds an army of people who want to see you succeed.
I learned this from my Dad.
The more people you have on your side, the easier it is to be successful. And success is a lot more enjoyable when you're surrounded by people who care about you.
3 Characteristics of Successful People
When I thought about my Dad and the generous people I've met, I noticed there were at least three similarities they all shared.
1. They're Motivated to Help People.
They don’t give expecting something in return. They give for the pure enjoyment of helping other people and relishing in their success.
Look for opportunities to help—they’re always out there.
"Bridging gaps" is a great example of this. You may know someone who needs something, and you may know someone else who can provide what they need.
"Bridge the gap" by making the introduction and contribute to both of their successes.
2. They're Open To Receiving.
Successful people aren't so proud that they won’t accept help. If they're giving, they're open to receiving a helping hand when it’s lent.
I’ve closed myself off like this before until I realized there are people who legitimately enjoy helping (and also legitimately know a lot more than I do).
So why not learn from them?
In the end you’re still the one that has to do the hard work and make the sacrifices and the right decisions.
And it’s not just about accepting help—it’s about being conscious of the opportunities that are presented to you.
If you see an opportunity for someone to help you, ask. Especially if you’ve helped them in the past.
3. They're Not Suckers.
This world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, you know. Sometimes, it’s a hard place. And hard work brings success.
Just because you give doesn’t mean you’ll be successful—it just means you’ll have an army at your back, a group of people who want you to succeed.
You still have to do the grunt work.
Not being a sucker also means watching out for people who are always asking or demanding you help them, without ever doing anything—even if it’s something small—for you (or someone else) in return.
++++
Success, to me, is helping people who need it, being thankful for what you have, and really enjoying every minute of your life.
Find a way to help someone this week, and smile knowing that you're passing it on.
Comments for This Entry
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Chad,
That is an awesome post. Thank you for that and thank you Nate for letting him share it. Be thankful tomorrow.
Tim -
Another awesome article by Chad. He's a great writer with a class site and a really nice guy too.
Nate's the exact same kind of guy, always willing to help.
Put them together and you get an article like this that can help so many people understand the true meaning of success. Awesome. -
Chad,
What an exceptional dose of perspective, man! I wish even more people than thsoe who regularly view could have the chance to read this post so as to reexaime what they currently consider successful living. This is a voice that all ears need to hear and contemplate. Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone.
Preston -
I heard a quote from the rapper GZA earlier this year and I think it summarizes really well that post;
We make a living by what we get, but
We make a life by what we give
It's all about giving back -
"...success is a lot more enjoyable when you're surrounded by people who care about you."
^I think that quote is a pretty powerful one, and it struck a chord with me. It reminded me of a couple of my "small" successes in life and the type of people I was surrounded by. Some of them were good, some I was surrounded by the wrong people and it really did impact it.
Nice guest post - thanks for putting this up, Nate. Hope your Thanksgiving was enjoyable!
-Tony -
Hey Guys - thanks.
Hope everyone's having a great Thanksgiving - glad you liked the article.
@Charles - great quote by the Genius -
Great post, and I totally agree.
Like you, my dad would probably have to be my greatest teacher. He's of so few words, actually he rarely speaks at all. But he grew up in a straw and stilt home on a farm in Indonesia during a crisis, walked to the capital city to somehow find a better life for himself. He's got no education, and to this day still works his ass off hard labour blue collar style despite his age. It kills me to see it, but he is the most patient, generous man and he would never hurt a fly. As a kid I would never understand why I didn't have what my friends had or why we didn't live in or own our own house, but it doesn't really matter now. He's the greatest teacher I'll ever have just through his actions and attitude.
Thanks for sharing Nate! -
Sorry! Just realise Chad wrote it, thanks Chad!
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@charles , re GZA . that quotation was actually Sir Winston Churchill.
great article from Chad as always and right where i expect to find it, on an inspiring website, thanks Nate
John
uk -
Wonderful advice. I really enjoyed this post. It's a great reality check.
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Great read Chad!
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Great post. I'm glad you added in the point about hard work in the end. I think most great successes all help people. My father was an example for me. And I also met people who had "everything" but had nothing in life. Help people first then give, give, and give some more and you will be rewarded! Most people miss this, so good work. Oh one more note before I started doing this in my own life I did everything more me. And I hated the work I was in. But then you start helping people and I love what I do. Go figure...
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@Darren great point - it can even be a mental switch, focus on others and you'll enjoy what you're doing more than if you're purely focusing on yourself.
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Love it!
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A very insightful post. I enjoyed this one as I have found givers to be some very content people. They see a calling to better their community and see beyond themselves. This is a very rare characteristic that is needed every day. My challenge to our family is find someone you can serve on a daily basis to show the love of Christ. Thanks for sharing.
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kudos for the great article! Always a great read!
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I've been a strong believer in this all my life. When you help people, more always comes back to you than you give. You may not even intend it to be that way, but it just happens. Nice post.
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It kills me to see it, but he is the most patient, generous man and he would never hurt a fly. As a kid I would never understand why I didn't have what my friends had or why we didn't live in or own our own house, but it doesn't really matter now.
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Wonderful journey and experience!
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Tim Peirce 5:01pm Nov 24, 2010