I’m a Recovering Fitness Junkie
Why I no longer “work out”…and how that’s made me a better person.
I was appreciative and humbled by JB sharing that. I was also surprised about the reaction: 402 likes, 29 shares, and 27 comments.
My definition of a “recovering fitness junkie” seemed to stir up some emotions, both positive and negative—which is usually a good indicator that people are interested in the topic and want to know more.
So I decided to take those two paragraphs, dissect them line by line, and explain what I mean and how I got here.
Of course, this isn’t advice for you or your situation. It’s just where I’ve been and where I’m at right now.
So feel free to take what you want from it and ignore the rest.
Recovering Fitness Junkie: The Dissection
Here it is again in its entirety:
“I used to work out 5x per week, balance my ratios of protein, carbs, and fats, and considered myself a connoisseur of nutritional supplements.
Now I exercise a couple times per week and care more about sharing good food with the people I love. I also try to get a good night’s sleep, drink water, meditate, and leave my phone at home most days.”
And here it is, dissected.
I used to work out 5x per week…
I started lifting weights my junior year of high school with one goal: to gain as much muscle as possible. At the time, I was a 140-pound skinny kid, and my self-worth was tied to the way I looked. (Still is, honestly.)
So like most young guys who want to get in shape, I started working out as often as possible. My life revolved around the gym. It’s where I challenged myself. Where I made new friends. It’s where I felt in control and dominant.1
This allegiance to the gym — to becoming bigger and stronger and faster — lasted a decade of my life.
It consumed me, with both good and bad consequences.
The good: I added muscle, gained confidence and felt better about my body. I became a personal trainer, started writing for fitness magazines, and eventually wrote a workout/lifestyle book for young guys.
My blog took off (hundreds of thousands of readers per year), and I took a job as an editor at T-Nation. I met some amazing people, some of whom would become my biggest mentors. I landed a gig at Precision Nutrition, which I love.2
The bad: I hurt my body repeatedly 3; my self-worth became tied directly to my performance in the gym and how much muscle I had; I only focused on one aspect of health — gaining muscle — and neglected endurance, mobility, flexibility, and balance.
I became one of the “cool guys” with accolades and magazine logos on my website and powerful friends who looked down on all the “shitty” personal trainers and fitness writers out there and how stupid they were…instead of seeing the positive impact they were trying to make in themselves and the world.
Quite simply, the gym and all the things tied to it became my entire life.
Without it, I wasn’t sure who I was.
Without it, I didn’t feel important.
…balance my ratios of protein, carbs, and fats…
I ate 1.5 grams of protein per pound of body weight. I followed a 40/30/30 4 mesomorphic macronutrient breakdown. I cycled my carbs and fasted and had strategic over-feedings and all that stuff.
In short, I tried really, really hard to get the “perfect” amount of nutrients. I thought food was fuel, and I treated it as such. Especially early on in my career.
But after joining the Precision Nutrition team over three years ago and having a small hand in coaching thousands of people I now realize I likely didn’t need that level of obsession over my food to build muscle and get in good shape.5
…considered myself a connoisseur of nutritional supplements.
Between the ages of 23 and 25, I worked for T-Nation and Biotest, a supplement company.
Every month for two years my “care package” would arrive at my front door. It was full of stuff and it was all free.
Workout drinks, fish oil, sleep aids, testosterone boosters, energy drinks, creatine, fat burners, protein bars, and lots of other exotic powders and elixirs.
I took it all.
My friends were all jealous of my perfect supplement regimen.
Taking the right things at the right time became an obsession.
Preparing to go work out took 15 minutes of mixing powders, putting pills in baggies, rounding up random shaker bottles, and eating pre-workout bars.
And then I’d have to go write about how awesome they all were so people would buy them.6
Here’s me and my friends at the gym four years ago. This is what I used to do every day.
Now I move a couple times per week…
I burned out on the gym after 6-7 years of hitting it hard. Back in late 2010, I was only going once per week. And half the time I only stayed for 20 minutes or so before leaving.
My back hurt. My elbow hurt. My pride hurt.
I didn’t know what to do.7
My experience in the gym had stunted me. I thought that if you weren’t training hard lifting weights 3-4 times per week, you were wasting time. Now I don’t believe that’s true.
Recently I feel like I’ve achieved a good, healthy balance in the gym. Part of that reason is because I hired a coach to tell me what to do.
Every Wednesday, my girlfriend and I train with Chris Bathke at Elemental Fitness Lab in Portland, OR. And I head in on my own once or twice per week to train alone.
I don’t have to think about my workout program any more. Chris takes care of it and makes sure I’m progressing and focusing on my weaknesses.
It’s a load off my shoulders.8
Like Chris mentioned in the above comment, I’m no longer focused on getting bigger and stronger. Instead I’m fixing old injuries and improving all the things I’ve neglected in the past 10 years, including mobility and endurance.
What I do in the gym now is a blend of gymnastic-based movements like planches, levers, and handstands along with loaded movement stuff (lunge variations, push-ups, pull-ups etc.)
Honestly, I don’t remember the last time I “lifted weights.” On top of that, I’m more active. I guess you can say I work out in other ways.
I’ve stopped seeing the gym as the only place where you can get in shape.
I go bouldering. I play basketball. I occasionally run sprints. I go on long walks and hikes with friends. I do handstands and bodyweight workouts in the park.
And even though I’ve lost 10-15 pounds9, I look and feel better than ever.
…and care more about sharing good food with the people I love.
I’m still aware of what I’m eating and choose mostly organic stuff, even though the jury’s still out on whether or not it’s better for you. I buy it because I’m fortunate enough to be able to afford it.
I still eat lots of meat and vegetables and healthy fats. I even still take some supplements.10
But I don’t remember the last time I had a workout shake or protein bar. I drink water in the gym instead.
My energy boosting beverages are now high-quality coffee and green tea instead of energy drinks. And I’ve started to look at food less in terms of “nutrients” and more like…food.
I enjoy cooking, and drinking a cocktail or glass of beer while I’m at it. I eat at good restaurants and spend time having meals with friends.
I don’t turn down freshly made pasta or sticky rice any more. I have no idea how many grams of protein I eat in a day. (Probably not a lot, at least compared to what I used to eat.)
Food isn’t fuel to me any longer. It’s way, way more fun and important than that.
I also try to get a good night’s sleep, drink water, meditate…
I sleep 7-9 hours per night.
I start my day with a big glass of water and drink tea throughout the day.
I sit down for 20 minutes every day, close my eyes, and do nothing but put my attention on my breathing and let my thoughts come and go as they please.11
These things make me feel healthy, alert, and in-control.
…and leave my phone at home most days.
I’m sure other people are fine with their phones, but I’m very impulsive. Which is why I don’t have internet, email, or Facebook on my phone. (But that’s a topic for another post.)
But really, I just don’t think I should be available every minute of every day.
I don’t like how I feel when I’m constantly checking my phone to see if someone loves me or is giving me attention or validating something I said or wrote.
Richelle (my girlfriend) got mad at me when I used to leave my phone in the car whenever we went out somewhere. She said it might get stolen. She had a point.
So I started leaving my phone at home instead.
Text messages go unread for hours. I have no idea how many emails I’m getting. I probably have like 10 people to call back.
And I’m OK with all of that.
Of course, I want to be connected to the rest of the world. But I want to be connected to it on my terms, and only when I’m ready to give it my full attention.
Till then, I’m trying to put my attention on whatever it is I’m doing in the moment.